Seeds of Kindness

On Friday, December 14, 2012, at Sandy Hook Elementary School it took 1 person less than 20 minutes to rob us of 26 beautiful faces. They were our friends and neighbors; sisters, brothers, daughters and sons. We were wounded deeply; not only by the loss of the individuals for which we cared but also by the loss of our normalcy.

I hesitate to say innocence, because after 62 mass murders in the last 30 yrs, none of us are truly innocent anymore. After each one, we raise our voices, shake our fists and shout "Never again!", only to sink back into the rhythm of our day-to-day lives when the initial shock wears off. We like normalcy - it's comfortable; safe. It's the sand we bury our heads in.

I've heard that this time may be different: that action may finally be taken to prevent these killings. That the shock to our psyche of knowing that 20 of the lives that were taken from us were the smallest of children will drive us to do something; as if someone's age (or lack thereof) somehow determines their worth. I truly hope so because, while no one deserves to be murdered, the horror of burying children is something else entirely.

In those few minutes, our town was punched in the gut by the hand of death. But over the past week, we've also been embraced in the arms of the world. We've felt the outpouring of support and been touched as you help shoulder our grief. It's truly humbling. I think it's in this collective embrace that we can all heal.

We all know what kind of world we want to live in and I think we all agree it's a world that more closely resembles this collective embrace than the world that led us to need one. We all want a world where we show we care for and about each other - strangers - in tangible ways; one where we take a stand against violence; a world where we don't merely bow our heads in a moment of silence for slaughtered children but rather take meaningful action to ensure it never happens again. The question isn't just how can we - but will we?

Will we? We've shown it's possible. We're doing it as I write this. The challenge will be keeping it up when the news trucks drive away and the holidays are over. Just when we find ourselves quietly slipping back into our 'normal', we have to snap out of it and fervently pursue that world that we so desire. We simply...must. This has to be the new 'normal' that we slip into.

Act, but be more thoughtful in our actions; whether that's ending our support of the culture of violence by not buying certain video games for our children (no matter how much they complain), advocating for better mental healthcare or writing our congressman to pursue and enact reasonable and effective legislation to make the ownership of guns safer for society as a whole and our children specifically. It could be something as simple as bringing the extra vegetables grown in our garden to a food program for the needy or offering to help your neighbor with cleaning the gutters. Be thoughtful in the ways we interact with each other. Actively seek to spread kindness.

This is the type of change we need if we are to create the world we all want. It is incumbent upon all of us to be the change we want to see. 

We need to focus less on what we are allowed to do and start focusing more on what we SHOULD do. We all contain the seeds of kindness and the seeds of violence. Which seeds we choose to water in our lives is up to us. Take a moment to close your eyes and picture the 26 shining faces that we've been mourning.

Go ahead, I'll wait.

This is my reflection after enduring the funeral of a beautiful 7 year old boy. His pockets were brimming with the seeds of kindness.

If you really truly want to honor him and the other victims, the greatest gift you can give is choosing to water the right seeds.

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